Everyday a marathon

Being back in Memphis this past week has taught me a lot about stamina.
I went from moving countless miles across Tennessee farmland as a disgusting hippie to laying around in the a/c - going to bed early and waking up late. I realized how easy it is to get stuck in a rut.
Don't get me wrong.
I actually missed Memphis.
I finally saw Graceland. You should definitely do it if you have the extra $30 to spend on an overpriced ticket. It was cool to see and seemed to transport me to another era where I realized the effect Elvis had, and still has, on the world. I guess I realize why people travel all this way for it and it is just right down the road.
I roamed through downtown Memphis enjoying random live music - something you can't get in a lot of places (one that strikes me as odd is NYC, yeah, no live music in the streets in NYC that I saw)- and went on to watch the Peabody Ducks infamously march to the rooftop of the hotel before enjoying a delicious mini Yeti at Kooky Canuck (a 6 scoop yummy ice cream sundae).
I ran errands and shopped for Father's day with my awesome brother for an incredible dad.
I pushed through to finish an assignment for my stupid online History class right up until midnight the day it was due.
I spent a lovely afternoon lying by a pool talking about nothing important with a beautiful friend of mine. What a relief.
I ate at a new restaurant that evening (Sakura) before going to an old one (Muddy's-the best cupcakes in town).
I played trivia with old and new friends.
I went to the Memphis Zoo, the best zoo on the planet in my book.
I watched two people commit their lives to each other in a wedding ceremony before spending the evening getting dinner with a friend and watching a movie about a guy that maybe wasn't ready to commit. Or at least to the wrong person.
I made new friends over hookah.
All in all, an easy week.
Nothing to get sad or disappointed about.
Although, at the end of the day, I felt like I hadn't run my race.
Before I left Orlando, I was discussing my fear of slacking off in my running at Bonnaroo and then here at home. It's really hard training for a half marathon. I can't stay out late and get crazy drunk.
I need water.
I need sleep.
I need stamina.
He said, you're right. Everyday is you sacrificing for it. You have to treat everyday like it's the marathon.
Everyday a marathon.
I have poor stamina.
In running.
And in life.
If I don't want to go on, I won't. I'm fairly stubborn and I don't give in to peer pressure. I survived most of my life without succumbing to the will of those around me for the most part. In a way, it has worked out well, but maybe sometimes we need to be pressure a little.
In all honesty I think society pressure keeps me in college and keeps me going in normal clothes instead of a swimsuit or nothing at all, ha.
These aren't bad pressures.
Unless you're in a nudist colony I guess.
But, I really have a hard time being pushed to keep good habits in my life. Especially since I'm so busy.
So I bought mine and my brother's ticket for the St. Jude half marathon.
The pressure is on for sure now.
But as for my personal life, that's another struggle.
As busy as I keep myself. I still have these moments. The moments where you realize you are missing something you once had. And yeah, it's something that you don't need and shouldn't want anymore, but just as I have a hard time instilling great habits, I'm horrid at breaking them.
It is really hard to move past relationships. I've watched several of my friends go through it, one or two are still fighting, and it is a rough road.
In a world where we prescribe drugs for consistency in most things, it is hard to face something without them. Not that I'm a drug addict-simply making a non-abusive medication reference, there.
Here I am. At this moment of weakness. Despite having a fun-filled and distracting week.
I guess all the distraction in the world doesn't take things away. And leaving again will only delay what the fall will bring in facing my issues back here again.
So I guess this is the growing point. This is the point in the run when you don't think you can go any farther, but you remind yourself that this is a game against stamina. You run for stamina. This is only the start of the workout, before was just a warm-up. Getting to the pain moment and pushing through it is the point where you begin to grow.
Where you find yourself again.
Where you say, why don't I do this more often?
I realized that laying around the house and sleeping through my run only makes the days worse. They make moments like these, where writing a stupid blog post is the only thing that keeps you from crying all over yourself, all the harder.
There's just something about having physical stamina that enhances the emotional stamina.
While I was laying by the pool, my friend and I discussed all the billions of reasons we don't waste our time in church anymore. We spend that two hours learning far more elsewhere, through volunteering, yoga, or spending quality time with real people.

Volunteering helps us realize gratitude, whereas sitting in a church we only feel judged and insufficient.

Yoga not only improves our physical bodies (I mean, I want to respect my creator by maintaining what I was given), but challenges us far more spiritually and individually. It creates balance. It is more than someone preaching, it is someone learning and discovering with us. Someone who helps us to force ourselves to take the time out of each day or week to truly be still and listen to ourselves and whoever we believe our creator to be.

Real people make us human.

Real.

Flawed.

Humans.

You know, the ones that don't hold themselves to impossible rules. The ones who treat their lives like something more than just being potty trained for God on Sundays. The ones who may not even believe in God, but spend more time improving the lives of those around them more than I will probably ever see a church do. Those are my heros and mentors.

And so, everyday a marathon.

Training yourself to hear the things around you that create balance in your life.

To realize that getting hurt isn't enough, but fighting everyday with disciplined stamina ensures growth and fulfillment.

God created it all, so I think I will challenge myself to see him in more than the pretty sunday clothes box he is smothered into on Sunday mornings.

Everyday a marathon.