“Procrastination is, hands down, our favorite form of self-sabotage.”

I'm a bit of a procrastinator.
For example, I had a ceremonial speech yesterday.
I had to leave my house by 9:30 to get to class on time.
Because I waited until 9 am to start writing it and throwing together a slide show, I didn't leave until 9:45.
I was late, as always. And hadn't even read over it to ensure it would meet time requirements.
It is funny how I always get things down though, especially under pressure. I guess that is where I work best.
Pressurized.
It wasn't until I walked into the garage last night that I even knew what I was going to talk about. I saw a sign my dad had made for me when I got home in January from Disney.
It said "Welcome Home Madison."
That was all.
To drive up and see that on the lawn really warmed my soul.
So, I gave it on my father. He has really changed a lot since the divorce.
And I can't believe I did this, but I cried up there.
He is really such an incredible person now. I feel like I don't deserve him. He puts up with a lot of my crap and expects a lot of me.
I just can't believe I cried.
But we have really gone through a lot over the past year or so, and I guess I never sat down and realized it.
And he doesn't complain. Or talk bad about my mom. Or keep bringing it up.
I found that really comforting when we were going through the divorce. He didn't talk about it. We just talked about us or things in our lives outside of my mom. If I needed to talk about something, we talked about it. Outside of that it was strictly no-mom conversation.
I guess I feel obligated to say that because a lot have people who are going through divorces and have kids and such have asked what it is like on my side of the fence and how they should handle it.
For anyone going through that. Be yourself. Not your hurting self.
Save that for a psychologist.
Seriously.
This is a time of loss and grieving and I wish both of my parents had seen a psychologist instead of using their eldest child as one. Remember that we are losing a family, too. We aren't the parents.
You are.
Grow up and don't talk about the other. Spend some time with us if we are open, if not, drop it. Suggest a psychologist for us, too. Not yours. And again, only if we are open.
Don't ask about the other parent. It is awkward.
I know it is hard, but push through, and don't forget your kids in any decision. I feel like I have been forgotten in a few big one's of my mothers.
Much love.