Relax and Spread 'Em

So the shuttle bus that I was supposed to catch left at 8 am.
I woke up at 4:30.
The sun rises before 5 am around these parts. Its crazy.
So I spent some time talking to folks and family, shocking everyone that I was awake. I had some toast and then got ready.
Everyday is a challenge with the shower to get as little water outside of the 1 inch tile wall that surrounds it and separates it from the rest of the room. Since it is so hot and humid here (think Memphis in August and you're getting close, don't forget I'm only in June people), you want as little water left as possible so you don't have to leave the fan on long (save energy!) with the only other ventilation being the screened window which we keep open all the time.
I put on a conservative dress and a cardigan, packed my passport and insurance papers in my tote and headed out the door with some Relient K on my headphones and my book Rejeuvenile (if any of you have seen the show Weeds you probably noticed each of the characters reading this book at one point or another) in clasp.
I got outside and waited at the bus stop. It is very similar to a Disney bus stop, well, just as busy, not as nice. I live in what is called the Youth Community. Yes, there's lots of young families, but it is a community of people that work in nearby factories. Each building is basically a host building sponsored by the different companies. Our building hosts only Intercontinental Suzhou workers, so not only do we have the nicest building, but the nicest jobs. Which is why we have a 24 security guard that checks our resident ID every time we enter.
I read and looked up every once in a while looking for the bus, I had arrived about 10 minutes early (notable feat for me).
8 o'clock arrived and I still didn't see the bus that Shine had pointed out. I walked up to a purple bus and of course no one around spoke English.
I had already spent the last 10 minutes being stared at, people look at me as if they see white people about as often as you probably see an albino person. Unless you work at some weird clinic for albino people. Then, nevermind.
I was getting frustrated to the point of tears nearly. I didn't want to be late on my first day and be seen as the stupid American, no one spoke English, and they all just stared as I tried to ask a few people if they spoke English.
I nearly lost it.
So I walked off to go back to the building to wake up Grace to help me. On the way, I told myself if this is the worst thing that happens, then its not so bad.
This is fixable.
Just don't cry in front of them.
Don't cry.
Its going to be okay.
You only have to stay a month.
Remember you promised yourself a month.
God, when will they stop staring at me?
A little boy even pointed at me and laughed as he looked up and said something to his mother. Very similar to a child pointing to someone and saying look at that guys mole on his face very loudly, she shushed him and sent him to play elsewhere.
Don't.
Cry.
I looked ahead with as much confidence as I could muster.
And barely noticed a girl that said good morning. As in, she said it in English as she passed by with a group of people.
I did a double take and nearly shouted "Excuse me!"
She turned around and I quickly introduced myself and explained my situation. She said her name was Iryn and she worked in HR and that the bus didn't come until 8:20.
Sigh.
I walked with her and her group, only one other, Cherry (yes as in the fruit), spoke English. I felt a little better as I walked back to the bus stop with "friends" to show all those asians that just stared that I wasn't a lonely American girl, even though I was.
It felt like high school again. I was so unsure of myself and didn't feel like I belonged and as if I was just using the 2 girls near me so I wasn't a complete loser.
And then I remembered I'm a different person from who I was in high school and became determined to make it a great day.
If you have even seen Never Been Kissed, that last paragraph makes me sounds like I have a grossie Josie of a high school personality.
Frick.
So we rode along making small talk and trying to help her pronounce Ferris Wheel (there is a giant one near the hotel and she never knew what it was called).
We arrived and she took me down to the office to fill out some forms. I was supposed to meet Cathy at the front of the hotel, but did not see her so I decided to go ahead downstairs. She wasn't there so maybe she was running late. She ran in and sighed when she saw me and said she was worried I was lost. I apologized and said I didn't see her. She said it was fine and we just have to be at the hospital before 11 and to finish my forms.
"You haven't eaten, right?"
Uh oh.
"I had a piece of toast," I said sheepishly.
"No! I told you not to eat! You are going to fail the blood test. We don't have time to go back!"
"Well it was at 5 am" I lied, hoping that 4 hours since my last meal instead of 2 would be satisfactory.
It didn't seem to be, but she decided we should go and try anyway and hope for the best. If I failed I would just have to go back on my own time (and therefore without a translator, frick).
So we took a taxi there and I kept quiet like a dog that peed on the carpet. It was incredibly busy when we got there and it was difficult to even get to a table to write my name and information on a small paper to hand to the clerk.
We waited in line about 5 minutes (mind you there were 5 other lines with clerks, too). Cathy translated the form and handled the transaction, asking for the 95 RMB when they were ready for it. And we moved on.
There was square shaped bar with tons of people crowded around and nurses on the inside as if they were the bartenders, taking cash and dispensing health.
Not really.
People were pushing to get down to the stools and as we pushed through, I realized they were drawing blood.
Oh, god.
I quickly felt sick and felt myself grow pale as I started shaking with anxiety. I can handle shots. Put what you want in, just don't take anything out. We were in a rush so I sat quickly trying not to be a baby and be as cooperative as possible. The nurses shouted order which Cathy translated as "sit closer" and "clench your fist." The next order I knew without translation as she pumped her fist in the air like a rock concert attendee. She was having difficulty finding a vein and continued doing a move between a pat and a slap on my arm to get it to show better.
No good.
Switch arms.
She patted and finally continued pressing with 2 fingers on one little point in the crease of my arm which made me even more nauseated thinking about her drawing from there. Finally, I felt her move down the middle of my arm (by this point I had succumbed to my fears and decided to just look away) and proceed to jab and draw like the vampire she was.
Alright that was a little harsh. Sorry.
Soon there was more pushing just as she pulled the need out and replaced it with a cotton ball and orders to go along with it.
Cathy took my purse and cardigan as she translated "hold that for 5 minutes," and off we went to the next station.
We stood in line for rooms that did not have an English translation above them, Cathy pushed me in as we approached the doorway which had a metal wall just a foot or two in front of it, as I walked around there was a weird machine and a foot print on the ground. I stood on the foot print which caused a dramatic, over the microphone sigh from the guy in the next room. He followed this with some orders as he looked at me as if I was stupid through the glass pane. Cathy directed me to stand on somewhat of a stage in the center of the machine and said stand still as if I were a fidgeting 3 year old.
Well, I was a great 3 year old and did as I was told.
After that, Cathy said the Spanish girl before me had cried for 30 minutes anticipating the next screening. I looked at her puzzled as she gave a description that involved bending over. I laughed as I didn't really understand her and followed her to the next line, which began outside a door that was marked "Inspecation (female)."
And this is where I should have asked what she said, instead I simply wondered why we were being split. Maybe they would ask personal questions and if I had an STD or something.
Well, I was ready to give my list of "No"'s as we walked in with another girl and she shut the door.
Wait, we're shutting the door and there's another girl in here, too?
I went to stand on the two feet print on the floor, without a degrading command, thank you very much. It was then that I noticed the flyer in front of me.
A cartoon Asian was drawn bending over and spreading his bare cheeks.
As in, his butt cheeks.
I looked at Cathy, horrified, but she and the other girl had already turned towards the wall.
For a second, I contemplated going home.
I don't need this job. I can get another. I can live in California or even go home to Memphis over this crap.
All they want is for me to pee in a cup.
That's all they ask.
And I will forever do it dutifully.
I've already suffered a blood drawing today, do I really have to?
Sigh.
She shouted orders, which Cathy said, without any qualm, "Stand higher, bend more, relax, and spread your cheeks more.
Oh, god.
I expected it to feel like a throat swab, the Q-tip invading a rather tight space with the speed of light. Painful, but quick.
However it was as slow as a someone brushing through your hair when you're sick and sort of tickled. Not near as tight as I imagined my butt hole would feel.
Not that I have ever in my life ever wondered how small my anus is until the moments just before, I assure you.
I'm sure you weren't expecting that kind of a story when you stumbled through my blog today. If you're still here, there's nothing else super gross, I promise.
We moved on quickly to another room that was split via sex.
Frick.
Really?
Now what?
I was brushed into the next examination room, and by examination room I mean cubicle with a bed and computer.
The doctor listened to my heart and, without question, pulled up my dress to press on my organs some and shooed us out the door.
"That is it, easy huh?" Cathy exclaimed as we headed towards the door.
Uh, yeah.
"Easy," I lied.
She said I was lucky I did not work in food and beverage because they have more blood tests and a lot more exams.
Well, score for that.
All of that and it wasn't even 10 am.
We took a taxi back to the hotel where I met the other intern, a 20 year old Venezuelan who goes to school in Spain and has already had an internship in China in food and beverage.
20 years old.
That is as old as my little brother.
That's crazy!
And he goes to school across the ocean from where he lives. And I thought I had courage.
He was nice, but clearly exhausted from arriving that morning.
We took pictures for our ID's and had lunch with some people from the front office. Again, more strange food, my favorite being rice and the drinkable yogurt.
After much random delay from trying on our uniforms, we got his luggage on the hotel shuttle and headed home.
I was drained from the day and ready for a nap.
Just as I got in to lay down there was a knock at the door. I figured it was another door and went off to sleep.
That is until it got much louder and I realized the knock was now on my bedroom door. I got up to open it and low and behold it was the Venezuelan and one of the people we had lunch with today.
Will they stop at nothing?
Um, hi. What do you want now?
"We have to go get your bank account today."
I wasn't originally going to get an account, but the hotel only does direct deposit and only into account with Bank of China. So, I had to get one.
Sigh.
Okay. I didn't know when I would have someone that could translate with me again, so I felt like I had to do it.
So, off we went to the Bank of China. There was a 20 minute wait for service and lots of forms. The translator answered a lot of questions and helped with all the forms and, 30 minutes later, we walked out with bank cards.
He bought us each a soda, I scored an awesome apple flavored fanta, for the bus ride home.
I got away as quickly and politely as I could, turning down a night out and an offer for a tour.
Just give me my bed, please.
At 5 pm I finally laid down for a nap and woke up at 4 am for a lazy day spent inside. I literally have yet to put on a bra and have had an amazing day reliving memories from the last week through updating my blog as I watched the sun move through the sky.
On Monday I have orientation and training to follow. Now that I have a uniform, a locker, and a bank account. I feel like I'm starting to settle in and detach myself a little more from home to make this the experience of a lifetime.
Come Monday, I will be done with week 1. Only 25 left.
Here's to a new adventure.
Much love.