Put on the Pull Ups. Or maybe just go do some instead.

I've really gotten into this fitness thing. I find that I truly rely on it whenever I have self doubts. In fact, I've started keeping working clothes in my car for any impromptu visits to the gym to see what group classes are going on. I still refuse to do gym yoga, I like my yoga on the spiritual side and I feel like it gets watered down in a gym.
And the more I workout, naturally the more endorphins I produced making me happier. Another side benefit is that I crave crappy food less. I associate the consequences of a bad workout much closer to eating bad food since more and more of my time is filled with fitness and therefore closer to when I eat.
I really love going to this cycling class at 7 am on Monday/Wednesday. It allows me to wake up before the rest of the world and get going. I guess I feel like I get to stay a step ahead of everyone else. The class is really intense, but it is nice to sweat things out before "life" starts everyday. And then talk things over with a really good friend of mine right after who is taking the class with me.
She is an incredible human who has grown a lot with me the past few years. A few years ago we were VERY different people. We were good friends then, but after all these changes, even better ones now. And we have had very different life circumstances, so that is a miracle in itself that we are even still close.
They say that when the student is ready to learn, the teacher appears. And so it has. Whenever I move into a different chapter of my life, someone from another part of life pops up, ready to teach me.
She has guided me through all the hard times of my relationship and has discovered independence with me. She is my free spirit companion. I feel freer and think more freely with her. My adorable hippie companion who sprung out of the same hurts and went through different trials to get where we are now. After school we will still be on different paths, but I have feeling we will stay close forever.
I've come upon another who has taught me compassion and grace. She is a graceful human with the biggest of hearts. Someone I could lay out on a blanket in the sun with all day (which we did) just enjoying life quietly or talking about the pettiest of things (who would you leave your significant other for or cheat on with? General consensus being Paul Rudd and Matthew McConaughey). She is someone who is spiritually strong and in a way reminds me of my personal path of finding God in places outside the church. She is just generally that great and loyal friend that everyone needs.
Then there is my amazing friend in Orlando. I wish more than anything in the world that he lived here, but then he would not be who he is and I would not learn to be just that much stronger like I am now. He is always there to make me laugh. Or there to just listen to me go through a 5 minute rant (which actually lasts an extra 55 minutes). He always makes time for my phone calls. And my tears. He would never offer to beat up a guy for me (well, maybe) because, at the end of it all, he encourages me to be who I am because that is perfect enough and better than (insert stupid boy's name here) will ever be. Sure, he exaggerates, but it is nice to hear from time to time.
You may not need a hippie in your life (I do), but you definitely need someone like those two.
In a way, I feel like they are all I have here.
But, what else do I need?
Sure, I may only have two friends to call if I want to do something, but they are two amazing people I trust with my soul. They are people I have let my guard down completely with and I love them for that. In a way, I naturally fear it, because a lot of times, things go badly and you regret ever opening your mouth.
Plus, I'm independent, right?
I can do things by myself now, right?
I have to be a big girl now.