Emotional Cure All

Waking up is the hardest.
No one likes to awake abruptly. It is an awful feeling to crack your eyes and see your running late. Or be deep in sleep and jolt up to a crash or scream.
It feels the same to wake and realize again what has transpired over the past couple of days. It is like being broken up with all over again. You feel like there is no hope for the day, so what reason is there to rise?
I guess this is something you can't fight. When someone shows up at your house, decision already made, what are you supposed to do? You can't force intimacy.
We were truly in a rough patch anyway. I thought we would push through this like everything else. Isn't that what makes you stronger? I guess I had hoped that he would be the one to bend his life some this time.
But you can't force that. I thought that he had realized all the bending I had done in years past and would return the favor this year.
I think I also expected him to be okay with my withdrawn. I was hanging out with people who didn't know or didn't care about my family life. My mom just abruptly married a guy. My grades are slipping. I'm broke. And it is winter. I hate winter.
It is hard not to have consistency. Since my life has changed so much over the past three and a half years, he has really been the only weight. I guess it is unfair to make someone feel like that though.
The modern human is a peculiar thing. We have drugs for everything. I guess we expect to heal everything within the hour. Even emotional things. I guess that is why we can seem so emotional. There really isn't much to cure that.
There is no instant cure for rejection.
I thought my busy lifestyle would be.
But when I filled it just to make myself seem worth loving, it hardly seems worth it now. Nor does the reminder help heal the wound.